Trust Your Struggle
In less than two weeks, daylights savings time will suddenly expand the possibility of outside time and a few weeks later we will welcome Spring! It is so amazing how fast it feels like time travels and simultaneously stands still. In recent weeks, the impacts of COVID-19 continue to bring personal and communal pain points that reminds me of the importance and sacredness of time. I am witnessing deaths of loved ones, feeling despair and depression from organizations, particularly those who are working in direct service and the needs of their clients continue to soar.
What has helped me to stay grounded and centered during this time has been to redefine, reinforce, and create systems of accountability for healthy and solid boundaries. During times of crisis or chaos, everything seems – and likely is- important. The sense of urgency feels overwhelming. And yet doing more and saying “yes” to everything only adds to the anxiety and cloud of heightened sensitivity. For me, what is most important during this time is saying “NO” to things, setting clear boundaries, identifying what kind of experiences are most meaningful for me in this moment.
I have struggled mightily with maintaining my boundaries. The strong inclination to help and the great gap of needs that present themselves often appears as guilt that I am not doing enough. What has been my saving grace and main source of accountability around maintaining my boundaries has been my partners, friends, and family. My community has helped me fight through the moments where I felt a lack of clarity and a strong emotional pull to say yes. They have helped me to pause, reflect, align, and examine what saying yes requires of me (i.e. time, emotional labor, skill, leadership, commitment) and if I have those things to give.
- What does your accountability network look like?
- How often do you access your community for support and confirmation that you are grappling with the right questions?
- What does your “pause process” look like?