Guest Blog Post by FMC Senior Consultant: Pamela Anglin
I was recently told by two people - one a family member and the other a professional colleague - that I have a mantra of sorts. Apparently, I’ve been known to ask the question “what’s your why?” often and for a variety of situations.
- With my 24-year-old as he was considering not getting the Covid-19 vaccine
- With a colleague as they were exploring a job change
- With a client who had a partnership opportunity but wasn’t quite sure if it was a good fit
- With my niece as she was exploring college options
- With my 13 year old when he said he needed more shoes
And yes, I was also that child that was known to ask the question ‘why?’ for just about everything. Why do we need to eat vegetables? Why does my sibling not have to do this? Why can’t I wear shorts when it’s snowing? But for me as an adult that three-letter question holds so much weight. It holds purpose, passion, hope, belonging, and basically a core essence of yourself in your past, present, and future.
A simple Google search will show you that there have been numerous books written on knowing your why, finding your why, or the impact of why. These are books about leadership, building teams, starting something new, motivation for life. However, in this brief blog, I offer to you three types of questions to use this word why to get unstuck quickly, to make a decision that has life impacts, to have a new perspective, or even feel like you’re giving your child some autonomy.
To know your why consider these series of questions:
- Facts: Do you need more information? If so, what additional information do you need? What will make you informed enough? Consider: people impacted, data, details that haven’t been shared or that are unknown
- Feelings: What feelings are you having? Are you excited? Anxious? Does something make you feel passionate? Confident? Happy? Are you curious or intrigued? Are your values aligned?
- Function: Where do you feel most engaged or energized? Listen to yourself and where are you feeling the pull from in this situation? Your mind, your heart? Do you see a role for yourself or others? Are your talents and skills being put to use?
You can fully know your why and operate in its power when you can clearly communicate the facts, feelings, and function of your why. When you know your why you are motivated, aware, connected, and confident. You can trust yourself and others more deeply. You are able to set yourself and others up for success.
By the way, my oldest son went through the fact gathering, evaluated his concerns, considered his impact on loved ones and role in his community, and decided on his own to be vaccinated. I knew I couldn’t make the decision for him, but I could challenge him to know his why, either way. I believe that he was also able to positively impact some of his peers who was on the fence because he knew his why.